Discussion:
Sally fourth
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Elle
4 years ago
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Sally fourth and enjoy the holiday everyone!
Mike
4 years ago
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Post by Elle
Sally fourth and enjoy the holiday everyone!
Just don’t take the fifth and drive...

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Elle
4 years ago
Permalink
Post by Mike
Post by Elle
Sally fourth and enjoy the holiday everyone!
Just don’t take the fifth and drive...
I second that. Don't quaff half cocked...
Mike
4 years ago
Permalink
Post by Mike
Post by Elle
Sally fourth and enjoy the holiday everyone!
Just don’t take the fifth and drive...
I second that. Don't quaff half cocked...
Even if doing so will tipple your fancy

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Elle
4 years ago
Permalink
Post by Mike
Post by Mike
Post by Elle
Sally fourth and enjoy the holiday everyone!
Just don’t take the fifth and drive...
I second that. Don't quaff half cocked...
Even if doing so will tipple your fancy
Very phew get to see behind by fan,see? And, then, they must be carefully tot ...
Mike
4 years ago
Permalink
Post by Mike
Post by Mike
Post by Elle
Sally fourth and enjoy the holiday everyone!
Just don’t take the fifth and drive...
I second that. Don't quaff half cocked...
Even if doing so will tipple your fancy
Very phew get to see behind by fan,see? And, then, they must be carefully tot
...
Bracer yourself --- scarf-face is coming

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
Post by Mike
Post by Mike
Post by Mike
Post by Elle
Sally fourth and enjoy the holiday everyone!
Just don’t take the fifth and drive...
I second that. Don't quaff half cocked...
Even if doing so will tipple your fancy
Very phew get to see behind by fan,see? And, then, they must be carefully tot
...
Bracer yourself --- scarf-face is coming
Michael LeVine
Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
I once braced myself ; I had to, I have polio.

The fact that I have polio explains why so many people told me Don, why is your third leg so short?
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
And failed your army “Short arm” inspection

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
i've never understood the term "short arm "the military uses wooden any kind of arm have a hand on the end of it and all the ones I've ever seen they don't have a hand there
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
Post by Mike
I once braced myself ; I had to, I have polio.
The fact that I have polio explains why so many people told me Don, why is
your third leg so short?
And failed your army “Short arm” inspection
i've never understood the term "short arm "the military uses wooden any kind
of arm have a hand on the end of it and all the ones I've ever seen they
don't have a hand there
Just someones moth attached.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
There was this moth and it was very sensitive. You had to be very careful what you said to it. One day someone called the moth a meanie and the moth cried and cried and cried and cried.

It's terrible to see a moth bawl.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Well it is hard for them to dance with so many legs...

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
There was this big gala/orgy for people with deformed sex organs. Sally went up to Ralph and said "Would you like to perform sexual intercourse with me?" Ralph says "No, I'm sorry , I can't do sexual intercourse very well. You see,
I have two left penises. "
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
One of my friends asked me , he said "donnn , I need clarification on that. Did he have two left penises and two right penises , or did he have one right penis and two left penises?"
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
at least they were not a helix, his clockwise and hers counter clokwise

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
i've always wondered how that would actually kill the guy.
Mike
2 years ago
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You should check the body of evidence (or is it evidence of the body)

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
I don't know how close I want to get to a man with a corkscrew cock, or a woman with a corkscrew womanly organ of reproduction ; maybe just staying back would be better.
Mike
2 years ago
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...
Didn’tShakespear write a play about just that problem?? I think the mane
was “The Taming of the Screw"

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Speaking about being tame, this fellow goes into a supermarket to the pain reliever aisle. There's a store employee there stocking the shelves. He grabbed a box of pain reliever, but he really wasn't quite sure what it was , so he goes up to her and asks "Is this aspartame?" and she replied "No, it's as wild as it's ever been."
Mike
2 years ago
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Such irreverence would drive Oscar wilde.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
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...
Oscar had a really mild-mannered brother named Oscar Tame.
Mike
2 years ago
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What about Golda Meyer’s husband Oscar???

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
what did he win it for?
Mike
2 years ago
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And here I left you an opening for his all wheat meanies...

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
is that like the blue meanies from the Beatles movie yellow submarine except some kind of healthy nutritious version?
Mike
2 years ago
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Rumor has it Golda’s husband Oscar Meyer lead a group of commandos.
To keep them mean during training they were fed nothing by wheat based food.
The only time they got to eat meat was after a successful raid, As a result
they where known
as Oscar Meyer’s all wheat meanies

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
I said somewhere else here that you don't make good puns, but with that Oscar Meyer one you've just redeemed yourself , you're in top form , right up there with "those who live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones" and like the one "going across a staid lion for immortal porpoises ", you're right up there with those. I admire you. Hallock, not so much . He cheated me out of some issues of Pun Intended.
Mike
2 years ago
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But it has to be intended. No pun is any good unless it IS intended.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Most pun magazines tried to make their puns intended, but not one in 10 did.
Mike
2 years ago
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I take issue with that claimed lack of success rate.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
so how many pun magazines are there besides the one that Gary cheated me out of issues?

If you take issue you're gonna be arrested for stealing.
Mike
2 years ago
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I need my exercise, a rest is not only forseable future

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
your idea of a rest is the entire exercise session.
Mike
2 years ago
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It my look hard to you but I don’t sweat it.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
I'm a lot more masculine than you are because I can do 10 push-ups with my arms behind my back.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
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Thats nothing, can you put your finger in your ear and hold yourself out at
arms length??

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
that sounds like having a sailboat with a fan on it and you maneuver by blowing the fan into the sail. (hint - it doesn't work.)
Mike
2 years ago
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Mythbusters tried it and got it to happen -- poor efficiency thou

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Might be a friction thing, perhaps in a frictionless environment it wouldn't work at all.
Mike
2 years ago
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If it were tried in Israel it could be called Zion’s Friction.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
there was some movie set in Louisiana, the governor was played by Paul Newman who wore his cowboy boots to bed when he was servicing a woman, and he explained to people that he could get more friction that way.
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
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why did you give up on this one ? named after a nice comic strip and everything.
Mike
2 years ago
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To quote Colonel Sanders when he heard about the chicken that crossed the
road

“I missed one????"

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
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...
So it was an honest mistake , you're forgiven .

Charles Whitman also used that line.
Mike
2 years ago
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A man who’s accomplishments tower above the rest of us.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
I knew John Tower; he was a politician.
Mike
2 years ago
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There are a lot of politicians I would like to say “WAS” about

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
if you get a Kleenex for your pet bird, that would be a poly tissue.
Mike
2 years ago
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Untill it finally went crackers wanting a cracker instead.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
There was this parrot that got tired of his effeminate, weak, citified owner. Instead, he wanted someone from the deep South that knew how to use a chainsaw. He kept saying "Polly want a cracker."
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
So he took a hard tack in the course of his life to something more exciting.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
I bought a package of tacks to put on teacher's chair when she sat down but they turned out to be soft tacks and they didn't work. I went back to the store and said give me some hard tacks.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
So she thinks of you as a dull student.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
she doesn't just think of me as a dull student, she knows I am . why , I actually think that the human race has some chance of persisting.
Mike
2 years ago
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Only if it shows some sign of intelligence

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
But it has shown signs of intelligence ; doesn't everybody carry around a sign that reads "I am intelligent"?
Mike
2 years ago
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...
You printed that wrong --- the question mark should have been inside the
quote marks

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Douglas R. Hofstadter struggled and struggled to come up with a definition of "intelligence". Finally he had to settle for "you know it when you see it."
Mike
2 years ago
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...
A prosecuting was once asked to define PORN, and he had a similar answer
“I know it when I see it"

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
My roommate in college was pre-law , and after graduation I lost track of what happened to him , then from a news story I found out he was hired by the topless dancing industry to prove that there was no law broken by doing that.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
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Getting rid of the old ways and show that this is a brave nude world.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
It's a brave nude world when the strip club is kept at 40° F.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
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But just who is REALLY behind that??? I hear that it just might be the Nude
World Order

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
I thought the Nude world order was when nudists of the world united to order food out from Wendy's.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
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Too windy and wendy's

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Are you trying to say that my posts are long and windy? Well, I never.
Mike
2 years ago
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Thats your problem, you never did and if you had you would be a happier
person today

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Never did what? Please, definite references only.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
But you had so many missed opportunities I can’t list them all here

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
I did too have a mist opportunity , a department store hired me to be one of those people that sprays perfume on women's wrists so they can smell it.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
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But not while they were in the changing room trying on a new dress..

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
no, that's my favorite MO.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
I heard they had strange ways in Missouri

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
my fifth grade speech class teacher was named Miss Yuri. She was married to Yuri Geller.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
When did he have time to go spooning with her when he spent most of his time
bending spoons

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Because their idea of spooning was to snort cocaine from small spoons, which anybody would find time to do.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
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Not as bad as the worker at the Pepsi plant caught with Coke

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
what was he wanting to fuel with it?
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Is that some sort of lead in to the song “What King of Fuel am I”???

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
No, it's like that Gary Larson cartoon, several research. scientists are peering through a glass window at a bunch of people that look really goofy, one says to the other "We know that they are fools, but what kind of fools are they? "
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Such fool - ish endeavors.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Yup.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Lets not be cretin a presedent here.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
But isn't the president of Russia a cretin?
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
Post by Mike
Post by Don Stockbauer
what was he wanting to fuel with it?
Is that some sort of lead in to the song “What King of Fuel am I”???
No, it's like that Gary Larson cartoon, several research. scientists are
peering through a glass window at a bunch of people that look really goofy,
one says to the other "We know that they are fools, but what kind of fools
are they? “ Such fool - ish endeavors. Yup. Lets not be cretin a presedent here. But isn't the president of Russia a cretin?
Now you are just putin us on

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Putin is so forgetful. He had to have the words "Put in"' tattooed on his penis.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
So as a reminder whenever he gets a grip he has to get a grip.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
How does Putin hold his liquor? By the ears.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
She does not like him to lick her so he has to hold her by the ears to hold
still???

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
He does not like to be held down since it interferes with his freedom to go into that tiny room and press the DESTROY THE EARTH button.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
Then you are revealing that he is actually Marvin the Martian in disguise!!!

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
yes. We know he is a Martian by his thought processes.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
...
And it Bugg’s you???

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
yes, and he bugs all of his employees and family and diplomats, etc.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
Post by Don Stockbauer
Post by Mike
Post by Don Stockbauer
Post by Mike
Post by Don Stockbauer
He does not like to be held down since it interferes with his freedom to go
into that tiny room and press the DESTROY THE EARTH button.
Then you are revealing that he is actually Marvin the Martian in disguise!!!
yes. We know he is a Martian by his thought processes.
And it Bugg’s you???
yes, and he bugs all of his employees and family and diplomats, etc.
They are a Daffy lot to put up with that

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
and they like to eat taffy.
Mike
2 years ago
Permalink
Post by Don Stockbauer
Post by Mike
Post by Don Stockbauer
Post by Mike
Post by Don Stockbauer
yes. We know he is a Martian by his thought processes.
And it Bugg’s you???
yes, and he bugs all of his employees and family and diplomats, etc.
They are a Daffy lot to put up with that
and they like to eat taffy.
Now you are just trying to be wile - e with me.

Michael LeVine
***@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Don Stockbauer
2 years ago
Permalink
...
There's this really funny poster out there , it shows the coyote strangling the road runner to death and the caption reads "Beep , beep ,your ass!"